12-19
I'm slipping!! But do letters and shopping lists and algebra problems count as writing?

No. Why?

I didn't do them for me. This is the stuff that I do for myself. To stretch my mind or sharpen my skill, but not enough to cut me or anything till I know how to handle it.

I have run of the fingers today. I do want to just let the words flow and figure out what they mean later. At least with typing them I should be able to read them at least. But if "reading" means making sense of them, then perhaps the job is larger that I believed.

You should see the sky at night these past few nights. I don't know what it is about the atmosphere that has it crystal clear, but you can see stars even in areas where the lights generally make it tough. Those stars look hard and determined, like diamonds, tame enough to pluck and put in a setting.

And so where is that going? It hit a dead end write out of the gate. I wonder if I will later find a pattern to all this. A pattern strung over days or weeks or months. One that follows a pattern that is skewed and awkward because that's what our schedule is these days. My hubby has up till now steadfastly refused to work nights because of the disruption it brings to the family routine. This time is a little different because we not only need the money, but they also asked him to take a position of authority which will get him a few more hours--first on the job and first off. The thing is, I'm not sure which hours he'll be working on what days. I don't know when I'll need to have the house quiet so that he can sleep, when I'll need meals ready, when to expect him home. All of it is as jangled and messed up as all these strands of lights people are trying to straighten out. As a result my days are not productive--right out of the gate.

That may be a mood thing though. SAD is hitting this year, I think..... And there goes my timer. I'm ready to crash for today. Here's to more coherent thoughts tomorrow.