Okay I'm promising myself 10 minutes. I honestly can't imagine anything coming of them, but I sure can't hold it up as a solution to the doldrums if I don't try it, now can I?

I don't know what to write. I don't know what to write. I just went through the word a day listings I have stashed in my e-mail. None of them inspired me. Camilla--poor Camilla left sitting in a little diner with no car. I still have plans for Camilla, but not tonight. Tonight I want to.... Tonight I want to..... Tonight I want to not write. Which is not an option. Is it? Hwah, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Those are not words--my critic is having a field day today. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I don't have the bit in place and the reins shortened up so that I'm in control.

Control. What exactly is that. Sometimes it does feel like I have absolutely no control. Or that I'm tired of having control. Sometimes the world just seems to tedious to deal with anymore. I know it's the stuff hanging over my head. The same old stuff. Taxes and transcript. If I'd just get them out of my way, I'd feel 10 tons lighter, I know I would. They seem such daunting tasks though.

So I started last week just labeling the next thing on the list I needed to do. One step. Just deal with the one step and then list the other, instead of looking at the entire big job. Ugg. Sometimes the next thing on the list just stops me cold. But I can't let it. I can't let this get the better of me. Quit the procrastination and feel better!!!! Clear the clutter--mental, emotional, physical. I have been doing that. For the past three days my living room and kitchen have been company ready. Longer than that really. And I'm tackling my poor refrigerator a little at a time as well. It's been heartening to see the transformation in the areas where people come in if they drop by. I just have to work somewhere other than in the living room and I've decided that newspapers have the life span of a mayfly. Here today, gone tomorrow whether or not I've read them.

VVA comes Thursday. I'd love to have a nice satisfying pile out there for them. Out of my house and on to better lives. This week I want to get the skiing stuff put away for good. Can you believe it--a whole month has gone by. The thing is, I can't decide where to stash all this stuff. The ideal place is the cedar chest. But it's full. Of what? I couldn't tell you. So I guess that's where my job will start. Make room for the skiing stuff in the cedar chest. I know better than to keep Abe's clothes for Asher anymore--they are build totally different and nothing Abe wore in the past will ever fit Asher. There's probably too many "someday" clothes in there for me, too. And suit jackets without pants, that kind of stuff that I thought maybe someone here would want. Or R thought someone here would use. Who knows.

Taxes
Transcript
Ski Clothes
New words

Now if those were the only thing I had to fill my week with I'd be set. But there's a menu, a list, grocery shopping, baby sitting, library runs, and last but not least the Hall build. This time next week we'll have a brand new building to meet in. What a concept. I'm not much good with my hands but I'm not missing out on it altogether.

Has it been 10 minutes? I don't even know.... Have to check.

YES!

Sorry to put you through this, but I did warn you--these are today's words, as they spill......