Rich & Poor--Is It Really About Money?

I received the following in my inbox a few days ago.  It sounded familiar.  The closer I read, I began to remember receiving part of the post and I think it was called “Being Poor.”  This version had some sage words of wisdom in addition to the little essay on what it was like to be poor.  I found it both intriguing and most of the time right on the mark.  

There is a difference between being poor financially and being poor inside.  I have a very dear friend who is disabled and who squeaks by from month to month.  She could complain about the lot in life she’s been dealt, but she doesn’t.  Instead she chooses to do without cable and brand name foods or clothes.  She works hard to supplement her income in any way she can so that she can afford to have her used car fixed.  She is always thinking about other people.  What she can’t do for herself, she asks her friends to help with, and they gladly do it.  What does she do in return?  She bakes for them.  Or when her garden is in season she gives them fresh tomatoes or cucumbers or peppers.  She is ALWAYS grateful for the way people help.  

Most of all, she’s happy.  Why?  Because she has her priorities straight.  She puts the most important things first, and that includes helping people learn to live better lives.  She never complains about what she doesn’t have, and she laughs more than most people I know.  She’s poor financially, but spiritually and mentally she’s one of the richest people I know.  So when I read this “rebuttal” to the Being Poor essay, I had her in mind.  

I asked and received permission to post this piece, but the author wants to remain anonymous.  She doesn’t mind if you share it.  

Being Poor,
But Learning to Be Rich

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.

Being rich is using that knowledge to make wise purchases.  Needs first, wants if there's enough left over.

Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

Being rich is getting rid of the TV and going to the library so they can feast on something wholesome and not the crap on TV.

Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.

Being rich is knowing it's insane to buy a new car anyway.  It loses too much value just driving it off the lot.  Being rich is searching till you find what you need--not necessarily what you want.  (Incidentally, we had a car for five years that we bought for $750.00.  It worked just fine.  They just wanted it out of the driveway so they could fit their new one in.  We were thankful to have it.)

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

Being smart is taking care of your teeth (a box of baking soda is .33 and makes great toothpaste) so that you don't get a toothache.  Being poor doesn't mean you can't keep up with personal hygiene.

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.

Being rich is being proud that your place is neat and clean and then inviting the kid's friends over.  Invite them and their toys.  Sing and dance with them, play duck-duck-goose, tell stories; it doesn't cost a dime and neither does using your imagination.  Maybe you can teach others that simple things can bring a lot of pleasure.

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.

Being rich is asking the office to give you a meal ticket so that you're just like everyone else.  Or thinking ahead and saying, "I'm paid up.  Check at the office." Being rich is knowing that if you qualify for free lunches (a BUNCH of people do) then taking it is nothing to be ashamed of.  

Being poor is living next to the freeway.

Being rich is getting used to it and knowing that there are $350,000 homes with flimsy privacy fences between them and I-80 in Connecticut. Having a place to live is a blessing no matter where it is.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.

Being rich is understanding that once you explain it to them (probably more than once!) your children will carry away a vital and valuable lesson that should be taught to every child.  Nothing should be squandered, ever. Planning ahead serves us well in all areas of life. Not to mention delayed gratification.  So many children are never taught to wait and work for what they want.  You have an opportunity to be an exceptional parent here.

Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.

Being rich is having family--true family--that you know always wants to help.  They usually don't wait to be asked.  And they know that if and when the tables are turned and your roles are reversed, you won't hesitate to hold out your hand to them.  That kind of family doesn't have to be flesh and blood.  You simply have to give what you want to receive--kindness, respect, understanding, support--to build a reliable support system. If you need a friend be a friend.

Being poor is off-brand toys.

Being rich is knowing that it's a wiser use of money to find nice used stuff at the thrift store and on half-price days, it's an even better bargain.  Kids can do wonders with cardboard and crayons. "On-brand" toys with their bells and whistles may not exercise their imagination.

Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.

Being rich is knowing it's better than a tent and a fire.   And that others have survived with just a fireplace and they expected nothing more.

Being poor is knowing you can't leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.

Being rich is finding real friends.  Real friends don't choose their companions on the basis of money or lack thereof, and they don't steal.

Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.

Being rich is knowing that the growth spurt is inevitable and planning ahead for it.  Remember those half-price days at the thrift store.  

Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because  you're not hungry anyway.

Being rich is knowing that if you refuse to compromise your morals, you will find a way to eat without stealing.    

Being poor is Goodwill underwear.

Being rich is knowing no one but you knows what underwear you have on or where it came from.  Stop hurting yourself by staying angry or bitter.

Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.

Being rich is laughing.  I had friends who's kids slept four to a tiny room on mattresses wall to wall and they giggled themselves to sleep at night.  It's all about attitude.

Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.

Being rich is not settling for cheap new, but searching for good quality used.  It's CHEAPER!

Being poor is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.

And a riding a bus with six seats on each side that gets stuck in the mud and you have to help push it out.  Teamwork does more than play sports. It gets us through the tough spots. To supplement those textbooks, try the library.  People used to get by all the time without air conditioning.  Now we think it’s necessary.

Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.

Being rich is recognizing that $8 an hour is a great place to start.  If you work hard, work smart, build skill and look for opportunities, you don't have to make $8 for the rest of your life.  

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.

Being rich is relying on yourself and treating people better than they treat you.  

Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.

Being rich is knowing that any lawful task you take up to put food on the table for your kids is a noble job.  

Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.

Being rich is learning from that letter that having children--and the act that leads to it--is not something that should EVER be taken lightly.  

Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.

Being rich is using that water instead to wash off the front step or water the vegetable plants you've planted.  

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.

Being rich is polishing it up, fabricating a new shade from a remnant you picked up at the fabric store for under a dollar, and displaying it proudly.  If it's a perfectly good lamp, then it shouldn't have been thrown out in the first place.  The stranger should be ashamed, not you.

Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.

Being rich is getting rid of those roaches and keeping a clean house.

Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.

Being rich is knowing that it's not the GED that makes the difference, it's YOU.  The GED is just a start.  Learning never has to stop and the more you learn, the greater your opportunities.  Your world is only as limited as you allow it to be.  People have typed books using a stylus they held in their teeth. You, too, can make a difference.

Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.

Being rich is knowing that's their problem and not yours.  Unless you're causing problems.  Then being smart is solving your problem and not worrying about theirs.

Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.

Being rich is not being content till you work it out.  

Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being rich is the same, because the bored rich kids decided to make a meth lab for fun. Stupidity is everywhere.  As long as the police don't have reason to bust into your apartment, you're doing great. It's also knowing that even if you don't have much, you are not as poor (mentally or materially), nor as stupid, as the folks in the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.

Being rich is knowing that a sense of self worth doesn't come from money or clothes, and a girl who laughs at your clothes isn't worth talking to in the first place.  

Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.

Being rich is hoping you'll be invited for dinner!  Or you could be creative and offer to throw your meal and theirs together and enjoy one another’s company.

Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.

Being rich is sweeping it up so that no one gets hurt on it.

Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.

Being rich is knowing that you will run into that sort of mentality no matter how much money you have and you're better off to extend your pity to them, not pity yourself.  If the way you talk bothers you, teach yourself to do better.  

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being rich is spending that 35-cent raise very carefully--or perhaps even saving it--when you get it.

Being poor is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.

Being rich is reading to your kids each and every day; then the teacher knows you have books at home.

Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.

Being rich is paying what you can on time and calling the company to arrange a plan to pay off that six dollars.  Being wise is paying it off before you spend the money on cable or cigarettes or something else that you could do without.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being rich is realizing it's a shame when anything goes to waste. If the floor is clean the five-second rule applies! (If it's on the floor for less than 5 seconds it's still edible.)

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.

Being rich is knowing that comparing yourself to others is a waste of time; its far better to focus on feeling proud and happy because you're doing all you can.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.

Being rich is knowing that people everywhere make stupid assumptions, and they'll make them about you no matter how much money you have.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.

Being rich is living a life-course that shows clearly you're not.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being rich is focusing on the child and not the circumstances.  For the sake of the child. There aren’t many working families left who can afford health care or insurance. You aren’t alone.

Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.

Being rich is realizing that new doesn't mean much.  Use an item once, and it's no longer new.  Let someone else pay retail.  I'll take it at a bargain.

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.

Being rich is knowing that they taste the same and that you made a wise choice, even if you could have bought the 12 cent package and didn’t need the extra packages.

Being poor is having to live with choices you didn't know you made when you were 14 years old.

You don't have to have money to make good choices!!! Wealthy people make poor choices all the time!!!! Being rich is realizing that actions have consequences, and you have to cope with them.  You can cope happily or you can cope bitterly.  Either way the choice is yours, much like it was when you were 14.  You can make a better choice now.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being rich is understanding that getting tired of being grateful is a bad attitude that needs to be changed.  Everyone, the poor included, should be grateful for what they get and for the help they receive, expected or not. An attitude of gratitude is better for you and everyone around you.  

Being poor is knowing you're being judged.

Being rich is knowing you can look them in the eye and say, I work hard, I live right, and I'm proud of it.  

Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.

Being rich is understanding that much of today’s “Christmas” is nothing more than a marketing ploy to make the rich richer.  Bow out, don’t play their game.  You don't have to spend money to give gifts and you don't have to wait till Christmas to do it.  

Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.

Being rich is watching the pay phones and the ground for quarters too.  

Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being rich is understanding that it's never worth it to compromise what you know is morally right.

Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.

Being stupid is buying a Lotto ticket no matter how much money you have.  IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY!!!!!!

Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.

Being rich is doing the calculating before you get to the register so you're not a dime over. If the register lady spotted a dime to every customer who came through her line, think how much would come out of her paycheck.  Don't put her in that position.  It's not fair. She doesn’t owe you just because she has a job.  

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being rich is understanding the mistakes you made and then holding the bar higher for your kids from the minute they're born.  When you explain to them from infancy what is right and why—and stick to those standards yourself in all you say and do—you’ve done all you can.  You have to let go.

Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.

Being an end-stage cancer patient is a pain that doesn't go away.  It could be worse.

Being poor is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.

Being rich is saving the money beforehand to buy a couch outright so that you aren't paying 3 times what the couch is worth by leasing it.  Thrift stores have good cheap furniture, as do yard sales.  And being rich is making sure you don't spill on the thrift-store couch because you own it and want to keep it looking nice!

Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.

I wish there was a way to force these creeps out of business.

Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.

Being rich is giving your all at those night classes and doing everything you can to make sure that time wasn't wasted.  Education is never a waste unless you simply squander it.

Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.

Being rich is knowing it could be the hard lumpy ground.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being rich is helping others get there when they need it, too.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being rich knowing that not all poor people stay poor; you don't have to stay poor. But if you think you'll always be poor, then you're probably right.  Poor thinking results in a poor life. What other people think or wonder has little to do with what you do with your life.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being rich is knowing how hard it is and then doing the hard work. And in the meantime learn to find joy in the things that money can't buy.  Money doesn't buy happiness and it doesn't buy character or self-esteem.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being rich is never accepting limits.

Being poor is running in place.

Being rich is putting one foot in front of the other. A little more effort is required, but you go much further that way.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.

Being rich is telling them and helping them understand.

Final words on rich and poor:

There is never any shame in living simply. Society today confuses wants and needs.  We may want a TV because everyone has one, but we don’t need one.

More satisfaction comes from giving than getting.  Lending an ear or a piece of wisdom or simply a warm smile costs you nothing and may be a treasure to someone struggling.  You'll find that when you give you get back in full measure.  

When you think poor, you are poor.  If you sit and wait for someone else to give you what you need, you're poor.  If you believe that happiness is directly linked to the amount of money you have, you're poor.  If you think that being wealthy means you have no problems or that people stop looking down on you or thinking wrong things about you, you're poor.

People have lived just like you're living now and worse.  You aren't the first and won't be the last.

If you can't change your circumstances, you can always change your attitude. And most of the time, you can change the circumstances.  It may take time, and determination, and lots of hard work, but it's better than doing nothing, sniveling about how unfair life is, and expecting someone else to fix it, especially when the vast majority of the “others” out there are doing all they can to keep their own boat afloat.  Think about it.  Unless you're a child, why should anyone be responsible for taking care of you but YOU?