His Moccasins Aren't All That Stink...

From prompt for Sept 5:

According to my brother, I will never understand him. He didn’t put it in those terms. I did. Let me add, I’m comfortable with not understanding Stuart.

In English class right now, my brother Stuart is studying proverbs from around the world and it’s turned him into a real pain in the neck. He equates the proverbs he’s preaching with wisdom. I equate them with someone who’s too lazy to come up with their own bits of advice to share with the world. Unless of course they have nothing to share other than someone else’s discoveries; this is more likely true in Stuart’s case.

He says before I can criticize him, I have to walk a mile in his moccasins. Well, to start with, he has no moccasins, though I’m sure if you took some good strong sinew from a dead deer and sewed up all the seams in his so-called sneakers that needed sewing, they’d look a great deal like moccasins. The things should have gone on the trash heap years ago, but unfortunately his feet have stopped growing. He says they’re broken in. Someone who doesn’t know the difference between broken in and broken down probably has little wisdom of his own to share with the rest of humanity.

Secondly, you couldn’t pay me enough money to slide my feet into his “moccasins” even if I was wearing asbestos socks. He should have no problem walking on nails or glass or whatever ancient men of wisdom did to prove mind over matter, because he walks on a ton of sand and dirt and rocks inside his shoes on a regular basis. Though with Stuart, I doubt it’s a mind-over-matter thing, because first you’d have to have the grey matter to have a mind. With him it’s more like no sense, no feeling. And really, what good are shoes if you end up walking on the road like you were barefoot in the first place. Really.

So he’d better just get used to leaving me alone, and he’d better figure out how to avoid irritating the fire out of me on a regular basis, because his thinking I don’t know him well enough to criticize him won’t make me stop. Let’s see how well he remembers those words of wisdom.