Wherefore Art Thou? And What Doth Thou Doest There?

"The owl looked up to the stars above and sang to a small guitar…."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, would you please tune that thing?"

"What?"

"It's bad enough that you have to put someone else's words to your own tune. The least you could do is tune the instrument properly."

"It's in the public domain."

"Tuning? I know. So do it! Or is that one more thing I have to do for you?"

"One little mistake and you're never going to let me forget it, are you?"

"One little mistake? One little mistake? Who in their right mind would trot off on a picnic without a picnic basket? I'm starving for heaven's sake. Starving, praying for the sun to go down so we can go home without getting caught, and there you sit, plunking away on something that sounds more like a child's toy than an instrument. And while I pray for the darkness, the deeper the sun sets, the colder the wind blows. All I can think of is the fire blazing in the hearth at home, and I am sitting in front of it? Oh, no. I'm on a rock in the middle of the woods, and, well—you know the rest."

"Hey, at least I'm trying to do something to help pass the time, rather than just making everything worse. So tell me when this string is in tune." The young man began twisting a tuning peg on the headstock.

"That's not even the right tuner for the string you're plucking. For a picnic, bring a picnic basket. To tune a guitar, figure out which strings are attached to which tuning pegs. Am I going to be teaching you all night?"

"That and complaining, it sounds like," he said. "Here." He held the guitar out to her. "Teach away, if it will keep your tongue in check."

"Of all the nerve." She turned away from him and the guitar, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes, what was I thinking? I should have left you alone in your castle with your impossible family. I should have never picked up a stupid guitar, just because you said you liked it. I should have believed my father when he said there was no living with the likes of a—"

"Hush, now!" she whispered. "You're going to say something you can't take back, Rom. Don't do it. I'm sorry."

She was looking at him fully now, the brilliant blue of her eyes going dark with the fading sunlight. The blush on her cheek reminded him of peaches, just like the ones in the picnic basket.

"I am so very sorry, too. I wish I knew what happened. I honestly remember putting the basket on the back of the coach. You have to believe me. But if you can't believe me, then just teach me, Jules. Teach me."

She leaned forward and forgave him with a kiss. A sharp snap sounded in the distance, and they separated quickly. She skirted his coach and disappeared. He studied the neck of the guitar, trying to determine which string attached to which peg, as if it were natural for a young man to venture out to the middle of nowhere to tune his guitar.

After what seemed like an eternity—during which nothing emerged from the brush nearby—he saw her peek around the end of his coach and he smiled at her.

"I found a peach," she whispered as she crept near to him. "Let's share." She held it out for him to bite, and at that moment the two lovers began their picnic.

The two of them failed to hear the other twigs that snapped beneath a stealthy footfall, or the quiet thud of horse hooves as they crept away in the distance. Nor did they see the rider who held a picnic basket in front of him and cursed his foiled plan. One would think the ruler of a kingdom could command anything. He was learning rather painfully though, that one couldn't give orders to love. It found its own way, no matter what the obstacles. Besides which, she was really not much more than a peasant, and not a very lovely one at that. There had to be another in the kingdom who would understand a privilege when it was offered to her. At least he hadn't been foolish enough to mention such an embarrassing infatuation to anyone else. Had he?

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Imagine Romeo and Juliet having a spat

With an out-of-tune guitar

A fire blazes in the warm hearth;

Two lovers are having a picnic

While the king hides in the woods with a shameful secret.