Time vs Money

My dh and I have agreed to disagree on this topic, but we still from time to time will debate the issue just for the fun of having an argument.

By "this topic" I'm talking about the truth in the cliche: time is money.

I agree with it to a point. When you have money, you have time. You have time to spend on things besides making money. Lately work has been more consuming for us--and dh in particular--in that it was scarce. We weren't sure from where or when the next paycheck would appear, so he spent time fixing and selling things we should have gotten rid of years ago and/or collecting on money owed. Instead of sitting in the living room in the evenings he was in the garage working on one thing or another meant to shore up the bank accounts should it take some time to find work.

Once steady work becomes available, he takes a more relaxed approach to his time at home.

The "relaxed approach" is spending time out in the garage working on one thing or another, but without the stress of needing to make money doing it. He never has been one to sit in the living room in the evenings. Too much nervous energy! Of course, now, if he feels like taking the evening off, he does. So yes, the pressure is gone. His time belongs more to himself. I see his point.

My point is that money you can make more of. Time, once it's gone, is gone forever. So instead of letting money dictate how you spend your time, I feel you have to make a choice. Sometimes you have to say: this time is mine, I'm using it to play with the kids, or feed my spirituality, do something creative, fill the well.

For instance, had we been a two-income family over the past quarter of a century, we'd be living a far different lifestyle. I think we'd still be frugal, and we're not ones to show off or feel we have to live up to some social or economic standard that constitutes "success" in the eyes of the greedy world we live in. But we'd probably live in a house he built--because he loves doing that--in a different neighborhood, driving newer cars and maybe having seafood more than we do now. :)

The point is, we could have the new HD TVs and the cable, new cars and vacations every year, but we chose to spend more time with our children. Dh chose not to travel for work when that would have been the most lucrative thing he could have done. He wanted to come home every night and be able to play ball with them, read with them, simply be available to fill whatever needs came up in the course of those growing-up years that you can't get more of later. Those times in the lives of your family are there one time, one time only, and once an opportunity to connect and build that relationship with the kids is gone, you can't get it back. Yes, you can make better use of what may come in the future and perhaps mend some fences that got broken by poor choices earlier, but you honestly cannot go back and change the past.

Similarly, I chose to keep my children home with me and teach them so they had the time to learn and to pursue the things interesting to them. (Thereby learning even more.) No amount of money could have brought the satisfaction of watching their development, nurturing their curiosity, and giving them a space where failure wasn't an ogre and successful "testing" was never the goal. They have developed a life-long love of learning and have held on to the creativity that is so often squelched by conforming to the dictates of the educational system or their peers.

As a family we have made time for a spiritual life, and had the faith that if we put that first, all other necessities would follow behind. They always have.

That is why my time is more important than money. I will not give up the spiritual for the sake of the material. I make the time for it whether or not we have a comfortable cushion in the bank. I have faith that we can go to the assemblies and participate in our ministry and still have enough for sustenance and covering.

Dh says that's easy for me to say when I'm not the breadwinner. That may be true, because the truth of the matter is, I don't know. If he were gone tomorrow and I had to provide for this household, it might be more difficult to hold to my mindset. But I still don't think that money should preempt our connections with one another and our Creator.

There are some pretty miserable wealthy people out there because in the course of accumulating what they have, they've ruined relationships and have discounted the importance of kindness, love, simply being of service to others. In the end they have money, but nothing worthy to spend it on, and time, but nothing cherished to spend that with. Because they didn't have the time to nurture relationships and make gazillions too.

So far we haven't had to severely change our lifestyle. We pinch some pennies but never wonder how we're going to pay the bills. That may change in the future and I try to prepare myself for that eventuality. I think it will be easier now. I have more faith. When we were first starting out, I had a huge problem with the uncertainty of the construction business and was never comfortable when Dh wasn't working. He doesn't understand that I feel differently now. I will always be ultra cautious about spending money when it's not coming in; that translates into worry in his book. It's not worry, it's practicality. I simply know we'll always have what we need: Sustenance, covering and people who love us.

Related reading, both sides of the issue:

A Resource More Important Than Money
Time is Money