My Rhythm Isn't

I can't seem to hit the stride I want. When I hit it, I can accomplish so much. But when it's not there I stumble from task to task and at the end of the day wonder what on earth I've done all day.

I really wanted a prompt write, but spent way to much time looking for one that suited me. I suppose that's my problem. That control issue thing again. I should just make myself take the first thing handed me and go with it, right? Sounds too much like school, though.

Maybe I just need to read and tomorrow will be better. Then again if my creativity has forgotten how to play, because I haven't been providing the outlet, then I just need to push through the resistance.

The day is a pretty one. The blue of the sky is quite brilliant, though I miss the colors of the leaves against it. Everything is turning brown, except, strangely enough, a few purple petunias on the front porch who refuse to give up. I'm wondering if I should just mulch the pots good and leave them for next spring. Would be easier on the wallet, for sure.

I'm going to go check the word for today.... I've quit reading them. I'm sure they're stacked up in my inbox. Yep. 129 of them. :-P Good grief. No wonder the computer's slow! Oh good heavens. LOL! Here we go....

Danegeld (DAYN-geld) noun, also Danegelt

1. An annual tax imposed on English landholders (c. 10-12th century)
to buy off Danish invaders, continuing later under the name tallage.

2. Protection money, or some other coercive payment.

[From Middle English, from Dane + geld (payment, tribute), from Old English.]

But it's one of the examples that spurs the fighter in me (this time in agreement rather than disagreement):

"What's unfair is that we make it tough for young people to get a job unless they pay danegeld to a four-year college to get a certificate that says it's okay to employ them." James Michaels; Truth in Packaging; Forbes Magazine (New York); Dec 28, 1998.

How many college educated people have you met that made you scratch your head and wonder exactly what they did those four years? How can book learning ever equal experience in the real world? I know people who didn't even graduate high school that had wisdom that was profound and a sense of satisfaction with life that few today possess. Money means comfort. Not satisfaction, not happiness. And if a person is content with less, that is not a bad thing. However, society would have you think otherwise. You can't possibly be "successful" if you aren't experiencing a higher means of living than your parents. If you aren't in debt--first for a college education--then for the house, the car, the boat, or whatever else your job demands--what kind of loser are you? A smart one, I would say.

People should do what they love. If they need years and years of education to accomplish that (want to be a doctor or an engineer, for example) then by all means, they should put the time into that, because they'll enjoy every minute. Well, that's stretching it I know, but the work doesn't seem as fruitless when it's going toward something you know you'll do and enjoy.

My ds is a terrific example. He is one of these personalities that doesn't need information that he doesn't have a use for. Algebra was like pulling teeth because he could not see himself in a situation in which he would use it. The same was true with auto mechanics. His dad tried again and again and again to get him out in the garage and under the hood of a car, but it wasn't the right time. Now he's driving and the information is relevant and important to him and he's picking it up without a problem. Put him in a situation where he needs to apply Algebra and the same would be true. But guess what. The likelihood that he will find himself in a profession that applies algebra is slim to none. "Well, it teaches them how to think and solve problems." Phooey. That implies that anyone who's never had Algebra--including past generations--were unable to think logically.

So instead of cramming math classes down his throat, give him the information he needs to do what he wants to do for a living. Which is why he's going for an Associates degree. It's driving some of his relatives up a wall--they want to see him go on to get a Bachelors--but I understand it completely. Not only is it a waste of his time, it's a waste of a lot of money. Danegeld.

I think this is a bit scattered to make a lot of sense but it's today's words. As they flow...

Sorting it all out....

You know how it is when there's a million things that are demanding your attention. Then things keep popping in from the sidelines like maniacal cheerleaders, waving those horrid pompoms and listing off yet one more job that you should do now, or yesterday. :)

So...I need to check blogs, read blogs, sort e-mail, check my favorite newsgroup and respond, begin the editting process, clean my house (decide on baby steps and there's a charity coming on Friday to cart off what I can clear out), pay the bills, begin tax work, make stew, ASL study, write my mom & sis, clean the fridge, re-organize the freezer, check the menu for the week and make a grocery list for tomorrow, prepare deposits and remember to stop at the bank tomorrow, wade through Wally World to pick up photos of the fact that our no-pets tenant has a cat (sigh), take out the trash, motivate ds to make his bedroom navigable. Doesn't seem like such a bad list. Oh, and laundry. Arg.

Did I mention updating my website? I may give it a rest in December. I might even get a poll going, or a feedback section or something that will let me know what might make it continue to be attractive. I get more hits every month, but lately the growth hasn't been as good. I'm not sure the prompts are doing anyone any good anyway. I would like to do more reviews and articles. I'd love a 30-hour day. No, no I really wouldn't. This is enough.

It looks like we have a stormy afternoon ahead, and then a week of sunshine, so perhaps tomorrow I'll feel more energetic. The garage sale went well, but I'm worn out, and G even moreso I'm sure. I had high aims for today, and I may still reach more goals than I expected. I've been doing 5-minute bursts in most rooms of the house and it really is amazing at how much you can deal with in 5 minutes. It's probably the most encouraging thing I've done all day.

I'm getting a handle on the editing. What I'd like to do is develop my own checklist. I highly recommend reading Sol Stein's book "On Writing" in which he outlines a "triage" method for editing. He edits beginning with the most fundamental structure on which the entire work hangs, making sure that everything necessary to support the story is strong and healthy, then moving on to less significant details. In other words, critical wounds dealt with before minor problems that will improve the health of the story but might be fixed when the larger things are tackled. Does that make any sense. He feels that too many chapter by chapter read-throughs will make you go "cold" on the story, and I have a tendency to fear that. It's happened several times with Widow's Peak. I get going but then a change here means changes where I've already been, and before you know it I've read a chapter six or seven times and feel so confused I want to throw my hands in the air and skip it. Which I do.

I feel the old "resting on your laurels" syndrome coming back in that I was so eager to start editing last week, and now that Cousins has mellowed for a week, I'm backing away thinking I need to do this and that and the other thing (like a revision checklist!) before I get going. It's comfortable here. I've accomplished something. And if I try to "fix" it, I might just make it worse. Or make it work. Better. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts.

Well, I ramble because I promised myself I'd get back to the blog, get back in the swing. Maybe I do need those prompts. Or maybe you, dear reader, need me to need those prompts.

Or what about a serial story.....Hmm.....That would be something different wouldn't it. And I have plenty of starter seeds from last year's blog.... Hmmmmm...... It does me good to get back here, ya know?