So how was that?

I decided to go back to my roots. Today's words...As They Spill. The initial blog post here was a tidbit prompted by a new word. And this blog was intended to be writing practice. Practice. Nothing special, nothing polished, but practice.

I remember typing practice in high school. There were days I was spot on and could type an accurate 70 wpm. The next day I'd come in and my fingers would tangle helplessly or my mind would reach for keys meant for a foreign language. But you know, even those hopeless days when my accuracy put me back to dismal wpm scores were still practice. They still contributed to smoothing those connections between mind and fingers. They contributed to the next day when my fingers flew even faster.

And it is true with the writing. Because sometimes in these splatterings of words that land on a page there's an element, a person, a plot, and resonance that begs for more, and that is where the next story lies. It's best to show up every day, give it some effort, let the skills build.

I'm making no promises. There will be lots of drivel, maybe some gems, but I aim for nothing in particular. I'm just recording Today's Words...As They Spill.

That being said, it will probably be the 9th before there's any more spillage. :)

Woohoo!

You should see my room!! I am so thrilled. I still have a ton of stuff to sort through, but it's all in boxes, stacked beneath shelf space where nothing else would fit anyway. I think I can whittle away a box at a time and still use the room productively for other things in the meantime. As long as I guard it like it's Buckingham Palace and don't let myself or anyone else use it for a dumping ground, the worst of getting it useable again is over. When I'm using it regularly, I'll be more inclined to do the maintenance work to keep it in order.

I already have a nice recliner to put back there; my friend who does the garage sales had one given to her and she passed it on to me. Dh even bought me a massage pad for it last weekend. And I have a rolling stand for my laptop. All my writing books are back there already as well as files with my work. I'd like to have a submission center where I keep all the mailing supplies and mail scale, and I have a lot of work to do on the filing system in there so that I can find what I want when I want it. I'm feeling inspired. :)

My next big room project: Laundry room. My pantry in there has exploded. It's one of those things where you know you have more room than what is showing, because the space isn't being used efficiently. I also want to get the old school room table out of there to open up floor space and give me one less place to stack things. I'm bad about stacking. My dh will tell you....

I want to get everything ready to give people tours, and then work on the more "hidden" problems. Not that peaple are lining up to tour my house. But it's a nice feeling to know they could if they wanted. It's been too long since my house felt organized.

I am feeling better today. :)

I start walking on Monday, back to 30 minutes a day!!!

Starting...

I love the clean-slate feel of a new year. I like the looking forward but I also want to be able to look back and see a journey underway.

Everywhere you look are articles on resolutions. Don't make them. Do make them. Make several. Make one. Be firm. Be flexible. How to avoid disappointment.

Hint: there will always be disappointment.

The clean-slate of the new year is a lot like a blank page. It's perfect as is: perfectly empty, perfectly ready. The problem is that what goes down on the page doesn't always meet unrealistic expectations. What goes down on the year can be pretty similar: lots of unexpected things, some not so pleasant, things we wish we'd done differently, times of fear, loss and disappointment. They aren't part of the plan.

But isn't any of that--the good, the bad, the ugly, the disappointing--better than nothing at all? You can keep the page pristine, and the year as well, but in the end, have you accomplished anything?

My thought for this year is to have some "landings" during the course of the year. I've sent a reminder to myself for March 1 to take a good look back and a good look forward. Readjust, edit, pay attention. Here's to a good year, with all its bumps. I'm headed for the first landmark. :)

In Flow

This is the addictive part of not only NaNo but writing in general for me. Pieces start falling into place, and even though I'm still writing things that are scattered and potentially trash, I feel more like a movie director who is collecting scenes. Let's try this scene and see how it works. Work all the way through it, add it to the other scenes, and we'll see if it will fit in the overall picture at the end. Stop and brainstorm in the middle of everything; "shoot" that too. We may need to move it around, we may need it shorter or longer or in a different POV or setting, but at least we have something to work with.

There are still so many unknowns in this story. I'm still not sure exactly whose story it is. As I go about day-to-day things like pairing socks and chopping vegetables, I find myself weighing out who the story belongs to. Is it Sadie's? Is it Herbert's? Can it possibly belong to them both? Technically I know the answer is no, but my heart doesn't want to decide quite yet. So I keep writing from both points of view, wondering if there will be room for all of it in the end. Wondering sometimes if there even will be an end. My long work never seems to fit comfortably into 50,000 words.

I rewarded myself with a late-night (or early morning, depending on how you want to look at it) movie last night. I love the Sabrina remake with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormond. So I sat in my living room all by myself with all the lights off and let myself cry whenever I wanted to. I think I will have achieved the greatest degree of self-acceptance when I can watch a movie that makes me cry in a room full of people and not try to hide the tears. I always feel like such an idiot when I get all blubbery and no one else seems to think it's that big a deal. At any rate, I enjoyed the movie all over again. I also half-watched An Unfinished Life a couple days ago while the house was empty. I had too much to do to sit down and give it my full attention so I watched it like I watch TV--largely listen until I can't tell what's going on and then watch till I can simply listen again.

At any rate, if I could keep writing every day with the same sense of urgency--that I need those 1700 words--I'd probably never lose my ability to sit down and type out something half worth reading. Or completely worth editing. And I get so many other things done throughout the day as well. My breaks are productive and I am "full" enough to dig into other projects without feeling like I'm cheating myself while I'm taking care of everyone else. I can do those 1700 words in an hour, easy. Once I'm in flow. But when I've slowed down to 1700 every month rather than every day, the ease just isn't there. So why do I let myself stop? I haven't a clue.

So after NaNo I need to set some goals. The trouble is, I think it's the group effort that makes NaNo so effective. When I set my own that no one else knows about, it's too easy to slide past those deadlines without flinching.

No matter what, I need to do some planning in December. December will be tax paper organization month. And Viewfinder submission month. And gear up for OWFI Contest month. How did we get this close to a new year already? And turn in the final assignment for the articles for children class. I have plenty of writing to do. It should keep me in gear. Of course tax paper organization doesn't really belong in all that, but it's the top focus.

I wonder how many words this is? Time to go make stew.